Mommin’ Ain’t Easy: Keeping the Faith During Times of Defeat

We have all been there. From tumbling classes to soccer games and dance classes to football – we have all worn ourselves out to the point of exhaustion. Then comes the meltdowns, the lovely age when your kids become pre-teens or even when they are the enjoyable 2 and 3.

Don’t get me wrong! There are amazing memories to be had during these times but there are also times of tears, frustration and straight up anger. Not to mention, those of you #MomBosses that are rocking a job whether it be inside the home or in an office, part time or full time to help get those kiddos to these events that ultimately make them the perfect little crazies that they are. You hate to admit it, but you secretly love your crazy life even in those jam packed scheduled moments. 

I recently left my job {one of them} at the salon after 21 years of being behind the chair. It was bittersweet but ultimately, I was ready to be home with my family more. I was ready to focus on my “other hats” so to speak. I still had a successful travel business, my shirt business was flourishing and I was still enjoying working at my girls school. That was plenty on my plate! Then an opportunity became available.

A job opportunity that could offer benefits, still within the same realm of what I was already doing, just more responsibility. So, I took a leap of faith. My parents always taught me, you don’t know what your full potential can be unless you try – so I did. I didn’t tell anyone other than my husband, my biggest supporter and my best friend. Why? Fear of judgement. Fear of disappointment. That word in general – FEAR. 

Then I got the call – I had been selected for an interview. I was ecstatic! I had made it this far – time to prepare. What should I wear (let’s be real – a true Mom Boss question)? What should I say if this question or that question is asked? I couldn’t believe it but the more I thought about it – I really wanted this job! I was hungry for it.

I walk in to the interview and I felt confident, prepared and ready to take on the world. I left feeling like I did the best that I could possibly have done. Now to wait to find out their decision. I had to stay out of my head. Keep talking myself up.

The one reason why I didn’t tell many people I had applied for this position – that big, ugly F-word – to my disappointment came true. Ones that I thought would be supportive had judgemental things to say. Not that they necessarily meant them to be, but, words have an amazing way of turning positives into harsh negatives. Then the phone call happened.

As much as you try to stay positive, talk yourself up and be your own personal cheerleader, there will always be someone that could be more qualified for that position. It’s not that you aren’t capable but it’s just not your time. Now- what did I hear on the phone?! Sorry but you didn’t get the job…..on repeat. This call had followed after the comments made by people that you thought were in your corner. I tried to stay strong but all I could do was cry and feel an enormous amount of defeat.

The next day, I focused on my work. I wasn’t myself but I kept busy and did what had to get done. At the end of the day I had my end of year evaluation – you know – the ones you look forward to where you not only hear feedback from your supervisors but also have to self-reflect. All-in-all it went well, however, again, I felt that sense of failure. That tugging sensation of defeat. Am I doing anything right?!

That night, much like the night before, I couldn’t sleep. All I could keep hearing was “No, this isn’t your time.” “Sorry, you didn’t get the job.” So I prayed. Prayed for my mind to stop. Prayed for my heart to stop aching, but the devil was hard at work. I kept hearing all the statements that had been said to me over the past few days. The defeat rushed over me like a wave. What was I doing wrong? Was I even doing what I was supposed to be doing? Did I make a mistake?!

Anytime I wake up, like a really bad habit, I check my phone for emails or messages I need to return – even if it’s 4 in the morning. Talk about God’s hand being placed at the right time! I turned my phone on and immediately saw a picture of myself, my husband and my 2 daughters – WHY I do everything that I do. I began to cry again. This time not because of pain but because of love. I knew that no matter how I felt, how down I got, those 3 individuals relied and depended on me. They believed in me no matter what. Talk about a God moment – making you realize what is really important. Not the job, or all the things in your home, but the people around you that support you no matter how crazy you may sound.

So friends, my Mom Bosses, those of you reading this dealing with your own struggles of defeat: don’t let Satan win! It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to take a moment and self reflect and even pray for strength. You and I can take this battle called life on and rock it like true rock stars! I need to hear it (and actually listen to it) as much as the next person. We are all human. It hurts to hear any form of rejection. But, my rockstar Mom Boss – keep reaching for the stars – don’t give up and all of your dreams can come true!

Your Traveling Fairy Godmother – Sybil

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