Here I am. Far from perfect. I have never claimed to be and never will. We are all human – there is no such thing as perfect when it comes to the human race (even though you will meet a few that feel otherwise).
God puts situations, relationships, and other trials in your path for a reason. Whether you interpret it as a test of faith or as a punishment for something you have done previously is entirely up to you. I choose to look at it as everything has a purpose – a lesson to be learned. Enter Satan, stage left.
Just when you think you have survived the storm, made it through, another wave of turbulence rears its ugly head. Nothing puts me into a tail spin quicker and singing “Jesus, take the wheel” faster than when someone makes one of my Disney Mini’s cry.
Towards the end of 2018, our family became the strongest it has ever been. We battled a storm together. Unfortunately, the kids were unnecessarily involved and Mama Bear got poked (Mama’s you know what I’m talking about). What surprised me the most, (hindsight being 20/20, it really didn’t), this person didn’t see the wrong in it.
Flash forward to more than 6 months later, I come home to tears. Just when I think we have made it through, it is finished – NOPE! Sorry Charlie! After some couch time and much needed cuddles, I discovered that my daughter’s wounds had been reopened because of being in, what my mini felt, a stressful situation and feeling awkward while being near the person that had caused so much hurt 6 months prior. I had to explain to her that when she feels that way, it’s sometimes best to ask to be excused or find a quiet place to have some one on one time with God.
Faith, hope, and love are powerful things. My faith is strong but it is also something that I don’t take for granted or use to excuse actions. It is something you can’t fake. When I was at my lowest, my faith and God’s love is what got me through and gave me hope for a better tomorrow. It was truly tested during my conversation with my daughter. In a moment that she felt alone in a crowded room and I couldn’t do anything to protect her from that, every feeling of sadness and anger from August rushed back and I didn’t like it.
After reading all of this, I’m sure you are asking, “What happened to let it go?!” Friends, I am here to tell you, through all of the storm, through the dust and finally to the beautiful rainbow, it is a process. Through every storm, there is loss – sometimes big and sometimes small. There will always be sadness and there will most definitely be anger especially when Mama Bear gets poked.
The hardest thing you will have to do is let it go and give it all to God. It will be the hardest thing for you to do. It is something I struggle with and I pray about daily. As humans, we want control and we want to fix it but when God closes the door, (you will know – trust me) look for the window. He does everything for a reason and if He has truly shut the door, you will know to exit stage right.
You are worth more my sweet friend.
I challenge you to journal. Something I have found that has helped me in addition to going to church and having some alone time with God. Journal your feelings. It not only gets those feelings out of your head but it can be very therapeutic especially if there are things that you feel can’t be verbally spoken.
Until next time friends!
Sybil – The Traveling Fairy Godmother